HOW TO KNOW YOUR NIGERIAN PARENTS ARE IN A WHATSAPP GROUP

You all, it's official. Your Nigerian parents are in a WhatsApp group. 

Still in doubt? Read on.

One way we bond as humans is by telling and sharing stories. Stories are influenced by different factors, like events, people and geographical areas. There's always that click when you find someone who can relate to an experience you have had; it's like finding your own person in a crowded hall. The feeling is divine. 

Though social media has been in existence from as early as 1997 with the short-lived six degree uploading service, the covid-19 pandemic skyrocketed the growth of the digital market. 

During the lockdown, churches and offices still had to keep in touch with their staff and members, hence WhatsApp groups became a norm for our now 'WhatsApp baddies'. The pandemic is over but the app has continued to be that nosy neighbour always monitoring who you talk to and telling on you. 

How do you think your Parents – without a science degree – are always the first to complain of phone radiation? 

And how do they know all the young girls that were used for money rituals didn't stay at home? Someone's been prepping them, sis. Notice how all the informations they get are to stop you from having fun in this world, does it not look like what that red-faced neighbour can do?

tears of pain. 

For this article we will call the group, the WhatsApp of the grown ups. On this group, broadcast messages and videos with constant call to actions like, send to five persons, all your children need to see this, are constantly been posted. Parents with children in the universities are more on this group, because, why would anyone send how to calculate CGPA on this group? Why?

For one minute let's appreciate their content writers, it's a lot. Niche is for lazy youths. How they frequent between religious posts, hacks to healthy eating, children counseling, marriage counseling and more is out of this world. Because of this writers, they even know when a natural disaster happens in Brazil before you who spends your whole day on your phone. 

We don't talk of the over 40MB videos, the wrong use of emojis (why would you use clown emoji to announce someone's death?) and for chrissake, who taught our parents to use stickers? 

If you think you're the only one on this table, ask any of your friends about their parents and notice how you guys automatically become family without the same surname.

But do not be deceived, WhatsApp is not the only group they are on. 

Before content creation and social media marketing became a full time job, there was another period. In this period, human interaction was still premium. Family friends visit your house every Sunday. Women sit together in shops and salons talking for hours. Information was shared by word of mouth. 

You're familiar with how a boy picked up twenty naira from the ground and turned to yam, some parents even took it further and said his family members bought him and as they cut the yam, it was bleeding. The yam now spoke to his family and told them what happened to him. 

We all heard of how a child was given sweet in school and she left it in her bag, when she showed her mother the next morning, it had become a finger. Moral Lesson: Do not eat anything without showing your mother.

Don't follow anybody even if they are friends of your parents: An Uncle came to pick this child from school, saying her mother said to bring her home, since the girl knew the Uncle she forgot to ask him for the secret word and that's how the girl dissapeared never to be seen again. 

Then our Nigerian parents started giving us secret words and teaching us to cram their numbers.

All our childhood stories are the same, maybe different variations but the same theme. This is more than just a WhatsApp group thing, it is an association of Nigerian parents. And we can all agree they are in this association.

Since Artificial Intelligence is taking over the world, what do you think the GenZ era would be like?